nestra: Nestra is not shrift (not shrift)
[personal profile] nestra posting in [community profile] lalala2012
Possibly the two most internet-famous cats in the world right now are Henri and Maru.

[personal profile] shrift sent me a link to the latest Maru video the other night, and we got into a conversation that led to this:

shrift: Now I'm picturing Maru with French narration like the ennui cat.
Nestra: I hope they would get along.
shrift: Ennui cat needs fluffy friends.
shrift: Friends with awesome boxes.
shrift: Crap, suddenly I want to request this for Yuletide.

And that led to this, which is not yuletide-worthy, but I offer it up to all of you.

Henri: Bonjour, mon ami.

Maru: what?

Henri: J’ai dit ‘bonjour’.

Maru: i have no idea what you’re saying.

Henri: Francais, imbecile.

Maru: are you high on catnip? you’re a cat. speak cat. not random ungrammatical French.

Henri: Le sigh.

Maru: i have a box. Want to see it?

Henri: What do you do with a box?

Maru: climb in it. climb out. hang out in it.

Henri: You voluntarily imprison yourself in a cage?

Maru: it’s not a cage. it's a box. you can scratch it with your claws, and it makes a cool noise when you jump in.

Henri: Or is it the noise of your soul, crying out for meaning in a meaningless world?

Maru: i don’t even know what that means.

Henri: Alas, even my own kind does not understand me. You performing buffoon.

Maru: yeah, whatever. i've seen your videos.

Henri: You are not black. You are not white. You exist in a gray area, unable to make your own choices. You simply wait for the humans to dangle the toy, and then you chase it.

Maru: oh, like those toy mouses on stretchy strings! those are awesome.

Henri: Stretchy?

Maru: when you catch them and let them go, they go “sproing!” and then you can chase them and kill them more.

Henri: And this brings joy into your meaningless life?

Maru: you aren’t listening. I HAVE A BOX.

Henri: I might consider climbing in your box. Even though life will go on outside the box. Nothing will have changed when I climb out.

Maru: get in the box, don’t get in the box, i seriously don’t care—

Henri: I’m going!

[Henri climbs gingerly in the box]

[A few minutes later…SPROING!]

Maru: told you.


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